From The Archives: "Ex-Files: A Valentine's Day Show" Monologue

Sometimes there's something that I wrote in the past that I enjoyed so much that I would want to share it online. This is from two years ago, when I had the opportunity to write a monologue for an off-off-Broadway show. I took something from my own life and was able to make it into something positive. I was unfortunately unable to see it performed live.

Here I am, once again, spending yet another Valentine’s Day alone. Just me, a bottle of Jack, some Thai takeout and a Martin and Lewis movie. It’s a hell of a lot more fun than what I did last year. I had been going out with this guy Marc for a year and a half. It was one of those situations where we were really good friends and then...BAM! We fell in love. We were even talking marriage and honeymooning in Hawaii and adopting children and being together forever and ever. We had been planning our Valentine’s Day rendezvous: a home cooked meal at Marc’s place, complete with champagne, chicken parmigiana, tiramisu and a lot of alone time. Then while I was at work just days before, I got the phone call. Just like that, it was over. The atomic bomb had blown up right in my face. I cried so hard I started to shake. My friends tried to calm me down, but it was no use. I had crashed and was about to burn. For a few weeks, I was a zombie.  I couldn’t help it, I mean, he was my everything, we did everything together and I couldn’t imagine life without him. During that time I had found out from his sister that he had cheated on me one night at a party they went to, where he made out and groped this other girl, who became his new girlfriend just in time for Valentine’s Day. All of my friends kept trying to get me to go out to meet new people and just get myself out of the routine that I conveniently put myself into: work, cry, sleep, repeat. One night, my friend Adrianna came over with a Starbucks frappuccino and this little black box for me. I opened it up, and there was a tube of red lipstick in there called "Bombshell." I gave her a look that said: you have to be fucking kidding me. "Just put it on." So I did. I went to the bathroom and dabbed a bit of it on my lips. Well, I don’t know if it was the lipstick or not, but in that moment, I felt confident and alive, two things I certainly didn’t feel for a while. I thought that she was pulling some voodoo shit on the lipstick before she packed it. Adrianna peaked in and said "Well, how do you feel?" "I feel like I’m on top of the whole goddamn world!" Then I got to thinking: the last time I felt like that was when I was with Marc. That’s when it hit me. I was depending on someone else to be happy. That is NOT a way to live. So right then and there I decided, fuck it! I’m going to live my life and not wait for the next man to come along to make me feel complete. That week I was back out with my friends, feeling much better about myself and ready for anything! And that brings me back to what I’m doing now. I’m not with anybody and I’m happy just staying at home with my quirky tastes in food and movies. No chocolate overdosing. No self-pity. No tears. It’s amazing what a shade of red on your lips can do!

© Allyson Yates, 2012